Keeping my pain, stress and anxiety in check while moving.
I’ll tell you, if you want to find out if you’re meant to be with someone forever, live and work with them full time in a 22′ travel trailer. 😉😂 We’re preparing to move into another chapter of our lives next week! We’ve been living on the road in our home on wheels for two years and it’s time for a change. While we’ve really enjoyed the convenience of having our house and everything we need with us everywhere we go there were some challenges we weren’t prepared to deal with long term. We’re at a place now where we need more room and have decided to move back to Vegas for the foreseeable future. Where I’ll have my office space and my husband be able to have an art studio. I tell him often, “I love you baby, but I’m ready to not be in each other’s faces!” He’s ready too.
Challenge #1 is space. Our limited space means that we can’t always work on projects at the same time and we have to coordinate our work schedules. Since I’ve been feeling more human lately and I’m able to put in more work hours it has become an even bigger pain point. I can always write in bed, but I’m also managing Fibro and working on strengthening the muscles that I haven’t used a lot in recent years, so slouching in bed doesn’t work long term for my overall health. I’ll be returning to a part-time job soon too and working from home just won’t be possible in this tiny space.
And let’s talk about yoga. My friend asked me the other day, “How do you yoga in there?” For a long time I didn’t. The space was too small and I rejected the concept of modifying because I was in a #fibroflare. I was in a pain-producing mindset. But, now that I’m back in a healthier mindset, recognizing that doing yoga every day aids in my health and function. So, I modify. Anything with full arms are shortened and almost tucked and any poses beyond the edge of the mat are done strategically using the small walk space at the end of our bed. I know that I’m not getting perfection out of yoga right now, but yoga isn’t about perfection. It’s about moving my body in whatever capacity possible to benefit my holistic health. No more excuses why I can’t do it, just do what I can. We both yoga in the morning and we’re excited to have some space to literally stretch out in a couple of weeks.
My husband (CW) is an artist. He paints canvas, large scale murals and a gaggle of other medias as well as being a tattoo artist. A lot of our storage space is used for art supplies. Without a studio space he’s had to downsize projects and plan more intricately so that he has everything he needs while working without having to adjust his work to get additional supplies. And he has to pack everything back up when he’s done for the day, so we can eat dinner. Nothing really gets done in our house without some kind of preparation of the space. Things need to be moved and shifted around to make spaces usable or to get to necessary tools and supplies and we’re just kinda over it. Coordinating EVERYTHING we do is starting to wear on us.
Well, why not Vegas?! But basically, family, opportunities and weather. CW was born in Vegas and grew up between there and St. Thomas, USVI. We have so many friends and family in Las Vegas and these couple of years on the road have really made us realize how lucky we are to have a tribe like we do, all over the country. When the quarantine started we really missed everyone! It was hard being so far away from everyone here in Choctaw, Oklahoma. We’re excited to be close to our Vegas family again, have the space to spread out, and have more conveniences again that we just didn’t have in the 22 footer.
As I’ve been healing and feeling better and thinking about going back to work, I tried to figure out how we would make that happen on the road and the numbers just didn’t add up. I would have to become a resident to get employment and, while we thought about it, Oklahoma isn’t where we want to put down roots. I need something where I can work from home and there just aren’t the opportunities here in Oklahoma or this tiny trailer. CW will have a lot more mural opportunities in Vegas too. He did one in the teacher’s hallway at a middle school when we were there last Spring and he’d love to do more work at the schools.
And then there’s the weather. Thankfully our amazing tribe in Wisconsin, where I was born and raised, understands that this girl can’t do Wisconsin winters anymore. Winter in OK wasn’t too bad, but their tornado season is no joke. We’re on the East side of Oklahoma City and it seems that a good majority of the gnarly weather happens in the West side of the state. Weather systems come into this state from the West, North and South!! Sometimes all at once! 🤯 And we do get some big storms if they’re coming from the North or South. My fear of tornadoes stems from living through one as a child and managing my storm anxiety here takes up more time than I’d like to spend. I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to work on it and do some healing, but I’m good now. 😉
How am I holding it together?
I’m doing the work! I’ve learned a lot in the last 10 months about managing my health on a holistic level. Managing my stress, anxiety and diet have really made a huge difference in my overall Fibromyalgia pain. And now, with the added pressures of packing, planning and moving, that knowledge and practice has to stay top-of-mind all the time. I’ve caught myself slipping into painful days and catastrophic thinking, but I reminded myself that I don’t do things that way anymore. I have a new way of thinking and being that doesn’t include curling up in a ball of physical pain and anxiety. I remember to use my self-care tools and do the work. I’ve found that it is so easy to sink back into old habits that did absolutely nothing for my health and happiness, it’s not always easy to do the things I know you need to do, because there is comfort in the familiar as miserable as I might be. And then I remember, I’m out here changing my life because I want more, so I need to do the work. The only way to make my new normal familiar is to keep doing it. I’m cementing a morning routine that includes Morning Pages, yin yoga and meditation. I know this will be helpful in the coming months as well, with so many changes happening. I’m locking in a part of my day just for me. Something I’m doing to connect with myself, check in and start the day on a good foot. I’ve found that starting my day like this also keeps the work and tools I’ll need all day in the forefront. Instead of waking up and feeling swept away by the day, I’m taking control of my focus and learning to meet my own needs from jump.
We will forever be grateful for the time we’ve spent living together in this small space. It was our first major purchase as a married couple and I’ll tell you, we lived the shit out of this life. We’ll be putting Ophelia in storage so we can still take her out for camping trips. I’ve been able to spend a lot of time focusing on my health and getting back into the workforce in some capacity. Healing my Fibromyalgia, my gut and mental health have been so important, so that I can just feel a little more normal. A little healthier. And I’ve already come so far in 10 months. I’ll be sharing more on exactly what I’ve been doing in those areas coming up soon, after we get settled in Vegas. The opportunities that have come about for CW’s company because of our ability to travel to the jobs with our own housing have been so amazing. We’ve made lifelong friends along the way and he’s been able to grow his portfolio with a lot of cool jobs. We’ve grown so much as a couple and as individuals and we wouldn’t trade this experience for anything.
*No blog next week since we’ll be traveling. I want to stay focused on eating right and taking care of myself. I’ll be posting updates to my social media along the way though, if you want to follow along!